Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Born With a Greasy Spoon in His Mouth
If the Burger King married the Dairy Queen and they had a child together, do you think that child would grow up and go into the food service industry or do you think he would pick another field of expertise? Personally, I don't think it's fair to pigeon hole a person into any one area but I also think that he or she would just be wasting the huge resource of knowledge that are his parents. But whatever.
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6 comments:
Why do you assume the child would be a boy.
i'm sensing a running theme in your last two posts... and ben, if you think we're even close to having another baby- well, you've got another thing coming (like a vasectomy).
Well, I was JUST about to ask, if Kat was pregnant...but seeing from her post - I'll assume your posts of food, lust, and money are just wishful thinking.
Random.
They did have a child- They named it Type 2 Diabetes.
Well, I would assume that Baby Burger Queen/King would do one of two things, depending on the gender of the baby and the socioeconomic status of the family.
Let’s just assume that they are well off, as both are heavy-duty conglomerates in the world of fast food--and although that spoon is greasy, it is silver nonetheless.
scenario #1
The doctor says, "it's a girl!"
Baby Burger Queen would run away from prep school at the age of 16 with none other than Wendy (you know, Dave Thomas’s little girl) in an effort to break free of the vicious grip of an all too controlling fast food dynasty, which expects her to carry on the family business even though she is a vegan lesbian hellbent on opening a chain of B&B’s in Vermont, with her one and only love Wendy. They will eventually bless their same-sex union before a room full of family and friends, including their folks, who in the end do in fact bless their union as they become Mrs and Mrs Queen-Wendy, moving on to become successful owners of said B&B’s called “All Queens are Welcome.”
OR
Scenario#2
The doctor says, “it’s a boy!’
Baby Burger King would find himself oddly attracted to Baby Softee Hut throughout adolescence, even though he’s lactose intolerant and cannot stomach a whippy twist, or any sort of pan pizza to save his life—he tries and tries to frequent her family's restaurants in an effort to see Baby Softee, but still ends up leaving quickly as he heaves all the way home in a sweaty, cramp ridden state, and therefore, away from Baby Softee’s beautiful presence. Baby Softee Hut, would in turn fall fast and hard for Baby Burger King even though she is a steadfast member of PETA.
Soon they run off together, forfeiting their family fortunes and Baby Softee Hut will remain hell-bent on pissing off her domineering father who let’s face it, rules the house like he’s a bitter old bastard…I mean, Custard.
The two will eventually marry, sans their parental blessings, thwart the inheritance of contagious corporate infection and become Mr. and Mrs. Macobiotic, who form an organic Co-Op in the heart of downtown Chelsea. Later, they will have a daughter named Wheatgrass bokchoy Macrobiotic who yearns to meet her grandparents, despite previous parental discord.
And so it goes. You asked, so there you have it.
be well,
jenji
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